I wanted to tell him it was over now and everything would be okay. But that was a lie, plus, I couldn’t speak anyway.I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn’t. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and fucked up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically… disappear.
Haiti: A voodoo believer swims in a mud pool during a mass ritual at the Plain Du Nord Festival
There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.
Khan Neshin, Afghanistan: A US marine keeps watch at a base in Helmand Province
Photograph: Lewis Whyld